


Till I Hear You Sing

by wingardium_letmefuckyou



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Demon Valerius, Gender Neutral Apprentice, Mentions of Death, Other, Valerius is in a very bad mental place, mentions of self harm, there is a happy ending though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20366353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingardium_letmefuckyou/pseuds/wingardium_letmefuckyou
Summary: The Devil has won, the world is no longer what it used to be. Valerius, a demon now, lost his beloved apprentice. Or so he believed...





	Till I Hear You Sing

**Author's Note:**

> Valerius is stuck in his half human/half demon form like his sprite in Nadia's route.  
The song that inspired this story:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6r3uHKDOOc  
The song that inspired the title:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQZHReCOw4

_The grand ballroom was dimly lit by candles, the features of the dancing guests blurry and unclear. Only one face stood out amongst the crowd. Yours. _  
_You looked beautiful, breathtaking, anything he ever dreamed of. An invisible orchestra started playing a slow melody. Without hesitation you stepped into his waiting arms, one hand clasping his, the other at his shoulder. One step, another, one to the side… He gently lead you into the dance, never once taking his eyes of you, mesmerized by your mere presence.The two of you moved in unison, gliding through the steps, anticipating the others movements without thinking. Your hand felt warm in his, your soft skin a nice contrast against his fur and claws._  
_Wait… Fur and claws? No, this wasn’t right. A violent panic seized him, his hands, no his claws, trembling around yours. He searched for your eyes, trying to find anything that would tether him to reality. He only found empty sockets. No! No no no… The hand in his dissolved into white smoke, just like the rest of your body. Slowly disappearing, right in front of his eyes.  
Not again. No, he had only just found you. No no no… _

Valerius wakes up with a scream, panting loudly, his hand stretching out towards the empty air. His hand, his human hand, no fur.  
At least not on that side, the other is balled up in a fist, the claws pressed deeply into the flesh, almost piercing his skin. The pain brings only little relief, a mere distraction from the horror of his nightmare.  
Valerius knows he still has a heart, of that he is sure. Cause every day, every waking moment of his wretched life, he can feel it breaking. He’s not sure what part of his torture is the worst. The actual nightmares or the moment when he wakes up, realizing he’ll never get you back. Realizing that even if he could that you would never desire him, that his hideous form is eternal. 

He gets up from the pile of old blankets that are his bed nowadays, bracing himself for another day of aimlessly wandering this realm, looking but never finding a moment’s peace. This was once a glorious place, a palace to behold. A place that shone brilliantly in the sun with lush and fertile vineyards.  
Now the Hierophant's realm is but a shadow of what it used to be. The fresco’s on the wall are crumbling down, only patches of colour left. The vineyard is dead, as is the Hierophant himself.  
Valerius suspects that at one moment his estate must have merged with the realm. There is no other explanation for the grand piano standing in the middle of the hall, taunting him, reminding him of a past now lost.  
He tried to play, at a certain point, but it never really sounded right. The notes too hollow, slightly out of tune, the clicking of his claws on the keys painfully loud. It just stands there now, collecting dust and claw marks from whenever he can’t find anything else to take out his anger. 

Valerius wanders outside for a while, the wine ranks dried out and dead. Some of them still bear grapes, black and unappetizing looking fruit. They provide the dark ichor that appears into his wineglass whenever he feels like drinking. The feel of the glass in his claws, the familiar movement of bringing it to his lips, the wine tastes vile but it’s the only routine he has left, the only thing that is still entirely his. It’s not enough, never enough.  
His demon form prohibits him from getting drunk, from being able to blissfully forget your demise.  
Valerius still sees it clearly, as if it were yesterday. Maybe it was, he doesn’t know how much time has passed. Too much, too little. The memory haunts him and yet he seeks it out, grasping at the last seconds he saw life in your eyes. 

_The Devil pulls at his chains, tighter around his neck, burning. Valerius can’t breathe, can’t move. You are running towards him, hands outstretched, ready to pull the chains from him. Any regard for your own life forgotten at the sight of your lover in pain. He wants to shout, tell you to run away to safety but no sound comes out. _  
_You don’t even stand a chance against the flames erupting from the Devil’s claws. The blast shoves you backwards, flying through the air until you land on the earth again. Limp, lifeless.  
The Devil laughs… _

With a growl, Valerius smashes his wineglass against the wall. He faintly notices that there is a shard of glass in his hand, pulling it out without hesitation. The demon part of him heals quickly, by tonight he will have forgotten it was ever there. He welcomes what little relief the pain brings.

“Valerius?”

The pain of the glass is nothing compared to hearing your sweet voice again.  
Another trick? More torture? Will the Devil never have enough? He wants to howl, let out the beast he has become, claws and fur and horns. What use is there to cling to the little humanity he has left? 

“Valerius? Is that you?”

His enhanced demon hearing picks up the sound of footsteps behind him. He’s giving in by turning around to see you, he knows it’s what the Devil wants. Yet, even if for a moment, he will revel in the illusion of you, allow it to soothe him for just a little. Only the sight of you used to be enough to make him smile, those times long ago. 

You are running towards him, relief clear on your face. The ragged, traveled look you have is different from how he remembered you. Are illusions supposed to look tired?  
You don’t stop running until you’re right in front of him, eyeing him over in amazed disbelief. Valerius remains impassive, trying to anticipate the Devil’s next move. He can’t allow himself to believe you’re real. 

“I can’t believe I found you! It’s really you,” you’re smiling from ear to ear and he knows you’re expecting something from him. A display of emotions, perhaps? A lover’s touch? 

“Val, are you okay?”

He shivers at the use of the pet name, only ever used by you. You always were the only one allowed to call him by anything other than his full name or his title. Should the Devil be able to know that? Is it part of the trick? Or maybe that’s exactly what he’s supposed to think, to be lured into the trap. Part of him just wants to hear you say it again, needs it.  
“You’re hurt,” you say and you reach towards his hand, eyeing the cut from the wine glass he gave himself earlier. He should not let you touch him, he should pull away from your touch but before he can act upon that thought you’re already grabbing his clawed hand. Surprisingly tender and careful. Just like you used to touch him when he was human.

Valerius recognizes the typical look of concentration on your face, the furrowing of your brow, notifying him that you’re going to use magic. The hiss that escapes him is more of surprise than actual discomfort when your magic starts knitting the skin together, closing up both the new cuts and the old scars. Your magic feels warm and achingly familiar. A small whine escapes him before he can stop himself. 

“It’s okay my love,” you whisper soothingly, letting go of his claws once they are fully healed. 

“You’re dead. I saw you die”

It’s the first thing he dares to say out loud. Since you don’t seem to disappear he might as well start talking to you. He had seen you fall, the vision of your lifeless body haunting him up to this day. He had been so sure. How could this be anything but a dream?

“I thought I was dead too. I would have been if it hadn’t been for Asra getting me out just in time. He brought me to his own personal doorway in between the realms and healed me. Oh Val, the worlds are in chaos, having merged with the Arcana. There are very few safe spaces left. Everybody is hiding behind their personal doors. Once you leave, there is no going back”

You sound tired, the ordeal of traveling in a world in chaos wearing you down. Finding Valerius had not been an easy feat and many times you had feared for you life. Once you had left Asra’s doorway, there had been no going back, only forward. But in the end, you had found your Consul and that’s what matters now. The only thing that matters. 

“And yet, you are here? Why not stay with Asra, where it is safe? Why leave, when the world is so dangerous?” Valerius’ question almost sounds like a dare, an opening to prove yourself and your intentions. He doesn’t fully believe you yet. Grief and loneliness have made him wary.  
You take a step forward, closing the distance between yourself and Valerius. He’s waiting for the moment where you will turn away from his hideous demon features but there’s no trace of disgust to be found in your expression, only genuine wonder and curiosity. And longing, so much longing. 

“I couldn’t stay. I knew you were out there. I had to find you, Val, I had to leave. I made a choice and I choose to be with you.”  
And that’s when he knows it’s the real you, no tricks or illusions. Only you would be foolish enough to leave a perfectly safe and sensible hiding spot just to find him.

“It’s really you,” Valerius whispers, his voice breaking. No longer able to hold himself back, he brings his clawed hand up to carefully trace your jaw with his knuckles. He expects you to flinch, repulsed by his new appearance. Instead, with surprising force, you grab his shawl, pulling him towards you and crashing your lips against his. He whines again, much louder this time and every doubt holding him back crumbles when you kiss him like that, your lips tasting sweeter than any wine. 

A small, nagging voice in the back of his mind tell him to stop, tells him that he’s selfish for wanting you when he is nothing but a demon, chained by the Devil himself. The voice quickly shuts up when you grab his hair like you always used to, deepening the kiss. He bring his arms up to encircle you, pulling your body flush against his. One hand delicately on your neck, the other around your waist. Neither the claws or the fangs, nor the fur or horns seem to bother you. You kiss him with a tender desperation, convincing both him and yourself that you are indeed very much alive. Only the need to breathe makes you finally pull back, leaning your forehead against his. 

“It’s really me,” you smile and for the first time in days, maybe even months, Valerius smiles too. Does the sun feel a little bit warmer? The air fresher than before? Do the vines look greener? Does he feel more human than demon for once? All he knows is that finally the world feels right again. 

Valerius knows that he still has a heart, of that he’s sure. Only someone with a heart could feel so much love as he does for you.


End file.
